Hey Friends,
I have a question...and some thoughts. I would love all comments, advice, and tips on this matter...please! Since I am less than 6 weeks from Harper's due date, I am starting to think of what life will be like after. Obviously, I have no idea what to expect...so my imagination takes control! I am trying to prep myself...to the best of my ability for her arrival.
Here is where I start to get overwhelmed...it's with visitors. This can be anyone from my parents, in-laws, family, and friends. If you know me personally, you know that I am not a very pleasant person when I don't sleep. Since I am moody by nature, I am thinking I am going to pretty unpleasant for anyone around me...poor Josh! I know we are going to be so excited to show off the baby...just to what extent in the first week?!?!
Advice time: I would love to know what you recommend for the "first week of survival with a newborn". We are so fortunate that our families both live under 45 minutes from our house. I know they plan to spend a lot of time at our house when she first arrives. Don't get me wrong...I feel so blessed to have help...just curious how to go about "scheduling" it,etc.
Do you recommend having anyone spend the night?
Do you come home with help or just you, husband, and baby?
Did you like having visitors at the hospital?
If you had meal delivery set up...when did people start coming?
Feel free to chime in with any other "first week visitor thoughts".
I know everyone's childbirth experience is different...I am asking all of this, pending a normal birth and being sent home after a day or two.
Am I nuts to be so stressed about this particular topic? I would LOVE all suggestions/comments...even if you are calling me crazy!
THANKS IN ADVANCE!
I was very overwhelmed with people wanting to visit and me feeling like I needed to accommodate everyone too. Every family is different, but for me, and us, I didn't really want visitors in the hospital and only a few the first week at home. At the hospital, I was exhausted and needed that time to rest (as much as you can when getting up every 2 hours to feed the baby). Once we got home, being a nursing Momma, I wanted that time to us for me to learn it and to get it down without distractions. At first, it's kind of awkward to nurse in front of people and you don't want to have to spend the whole visit in the baby's room alone. You need to be comfortable to learn nursing and to get it right. If you aren't comfortable when learning and trying, you will have a very hard time. Once you get it down though, you will be fine throwing a cover over you and having people over. If people do visit the first two weeks, short visits with food are always appreciated because the less you have to cook the better. I would have been happy to have that start the day we came home. Since most of your friends have babies, they will understand that a quick drop by to drop things off and say hello for a few is appreciated, but you do need that time to yourself as a family to kind of feel out what your newly extended family is going to be like. It's a super fun time learning everything for the first time. You will laugh, cry, become completely overwhelmed at the silliest things, and feel more love and contentment than ever before in your life those first couple of weeks. So much to look forward to!
ReplyDeleteWe had a lot of visitors in the hospital at first. Josh's family practically moved in until about 12 hours after Susie was born and then we never saw them again. Susie was born at 1:22 a.m. and most of our visitors came later that morning, which means we didn't get much sleep...at all. It was nice of them, but I was on a magnesium drip for 24 hours (sans shower) so I looked horrible. I was still in the same gown I labored in and my hair and face were a mess! We had family and three pastors come that day. Oy! Then, Susie was in the hospital an extra day for jaundice and we were starving for visitors and no one came. So...I guess I would suggest asking only family to come to the hospital at least until you get to take a shower and put on some PJs. And then you might want some close friends. At home, I really liked having people stop by with dinner and hang out to chat, but not every day. You'll be exhausted and you'll feel like you need to host, so every day is daunting, but one or two days a week was nice. I was craving adult interaction at that point.
ReplyDeleteJust make sure with all your visitors, you and Josh take some time to be with Harper, just you guys. Josh and I didn't get a lot of that with Susie at first with his family practically living at our house. I looked forward to nursing, so I could have a turn to hold her. The help was great, but don't be afraid to ask for alone time. Such a great time!!!!
Hey Allison! Congrats on your sweet baby girl on the way. I enjoy popping in on your blog occasionally!!!! I had a really hard time with this. Like the comment above, I wore the same gown I delivered in for literally 24 hours after I delivered because there was ALWAYS a visitor there. I had no chance to shower or change. I was exhausted and felt nasty and in pain and really just wanted some time with my baby!! I know everyone feels differently, and you probably cannot even gauge how you will feel until after you have the baby, but you may want to set some boundaries. People will probably still just stop by at the hospital, but if you could say "we are accepting visitors between 2-4 this afternoon...momma needs her rest" that may help. Also, do not be afraid to set boundaries when you are first home either. If anyone really stops and thinks about it, they should understand. You will be tired and often in pajamas. There will be no real predictability in those early days, so you never know when you and/ or baby may be eating, sleeping, showering, etc. I would say maybe give yourselves at least 3 good days at home alone before accepting visitors...except your parents and any friends that you feel absolutely natural with and require no energy at all. I am not very good at confrontation/ being assertive, but there were so many times I just wanted to tell people to "GO AWAY!!!" The thing is, in those early days, you have to remember that your baby comes first, not the feelings of others, and your baby needs you and your husband to be as rested and relaxed as possible. Whatever you need to do to stay that way is okay!!!! Hope you enjoy the last part of your pregnancy! Sending prayers for a happy and healthy delivery and baby! Love, Haley
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